So I’ve got a theory about horror films. They’re at their best when they’re subversive—celebrations of nihilism from hustlers working the film industry’s fringes, just trying to make a quick buck. Think Craven’s “Last House on the Left”, Hooper’s “Texas Chainsaw…”, Cunningham’s first “Friday the 13th” films, and a lot of the 80s horror schlock I review here.
Those movies often seem, if not on the side of the killer(s), at least indifferent to their acts of violence. They provide succor to the most depraved parts of the viewer’s psyche, the part that smiles upon seeing a captive teenager hung on a meat hook, or stuffed into a sleeping bag and bashed against a tree. (Uh, you do have that part, right? It’s not just me?)
But at some point, the institutionalists in Hollywood started to notice that horror was making major green. So they decided to class it up the genre a bit—They softened the edges, sanded down the ugliness, and generally tried to make things more presentable.
The original “I Know What You Did Last Summer” films from the 90s were, I think, some of the first attempts in this more sanitized style. They were like horror for the CW channel. (I can still get away with that reference, right?)
In some ways, this trend wasn’t a bad thing—the acting got better, and the production values shot up. But something got lost. Those movies feel like your Mom’s idea of what a horror film should be. There’s no threat of existential demise (by which I mean that not only does a character die but their whole reason for being is shown to be meaningless). There’s always a kind of cathartic victory of the baddie “getting it.”
That trend continues with 2025’s “I Know What You Did Last Summer” reboot. It’s just too polished.
For one thing, all the protagonists are super-rich country club kids. How am I supposed to sympathize with brats like that? I go to horror movies to see them eviscerated, disemboweled, and flayed alive. (In fairness, like a lot of these films, the movie straddles a tricky line. It allows us some cantharis in seeing our social betters suffer, but ultimately redeems some of them.)
Another problem with the premise of the “…Summer” films: a serial killer dressed as a fisherman? That just seems kind of dorky. (Though, and this is just coming to me now, it’s a good visual representation of the rich versus poor, towns versus gowns theme to these films. Still…)
The acting is fine, and it’s nice to see some of the characters from previous films reappear. One character, a blonde girl, I found unintelligible.
The kills are creative enough. It’s nice to see a spear gun gets some love.
I did find it interesting when our female protagonist requests choking during a furtive sex act.
But overall, a predictable yawn.
Best line: “Nostalgia’s overrated.”
My related reviews
- Speak No Evil (Psychopath horror)
- The Collector (Serial Killer thriller)
More on “I know What You Did Last Summer.”
Like horror? Check out my slasher novel The Mirror Man – available now on Amazon. Kindle Unlimited subscribers read for free.
