Ever wonder what the Nancy Drew stories would be like if she investigated the murders of a serial killer who, among other things, made his victims drink bleach?

I have. At one point, I have the idea of writing a novel that took characters in the mold of the Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew and threw them in the world of real violence. (“Jeepers,” Bob said as he examined the mass of flesh and gore that had once been Mrs. Johnson’s face.)

It’s a good thing I never did it, though, because 1996’s “True Crime” beat me to it.

In the film, Alicia Silverstone plays Mary Giordano, our Nancy Drew stand-in. She’s a Catholic schoolgirl with a fascination for the lurid tales found in true crime magazines. So, when the sister of one of her classmate is murdered, she’s on the case. 

She’s quickly joined by a young cop played by Kevin Dillon. Their relationship turns romantic, but then Mary gets suspicious and things kinda get kinda crazy from there. 

The fundamental mystery in this movie was actually pretty good and kept me guessing. Unfortunately, almost everything else about it kind of sucked. The dialogue was cheesy and often unrealistically expository. “Your father was killed in the line of duty,“ one cop says to Alicia‘s character, obviously explaining this to the viewer. The acting was kind of hokey as well, with Silverstone frequently doing this squinty thing. I think it was supposed to represent deep thought, but looked like she had a bug in her nose.

Mixed in with this were a lot of situations and behavior that seemed highly unlikely.

That said, I keep coming back to the mystery of it all, which I have to say it was pretty good. So I’ll give this a guarded recommendation if you want some cheeseball 90s fun.